"Treasures that moth and rust cannot destroy..."

Now here are some good holiday, er, Christmas ideas...

Materialism and greed might ruin your Christmas
by David Batstone (from Sojourners Magazine)

Some Christians this season are boycotting retailers that choose not to use the phrase "Merry Christmas" in advertising. I have been fired up for some time about Christmas commercialism. But the target of my concern is not how a clerk delivers holiday greetings at the check-out stand.

The spiritual foes that I resist this time of the year are materialism and greed. I note the corrosive impact of hypercommercialism on family life, and I don't like it one bit. You can order in wood or plastic the baby Jesus in a manger who had no place to lay his head. But can you find a place for this baby Jesus in your home this Christmas? It's hard to find time to deliver tidings of joy and peace on earth when we're stressed about getting our shopping done before Christmas Day.

My wife, Wendy, and I opted out of the American Christmas package the year our first child was born nearly 15 years ago. In the years ensuing, we brought three more children into our lives. The Christmas tradition we have developed instead is of course not the only proper way to celebrate. Perhaps, though, our effort may spark the imagination of other parents to craft a more spiritual way to remember the birth of Jesus.

For the past 15 years we have put a priority on passing time together as a family during the Christmas holidays. We use the money that other families might spend on gifts and take a trip together. In our experience, getting away from home makes it easier to focus on the family. Staying at home offers too many distractions - for mom and dad to do chores, and for kids to run off with their respective friends.

The trips do not have to be exotic - one year we drove down the California coast to San Diego from our home in San Francisco and went to the zoo. Another year we went farther south to Enseñada, Mexico, where we could frolic in the surf. For the past few years we have driven four hours to the Sierra mountains near Lake Tahoe and played snow sports. Generous friends let us make use of their cabins. One year I had some work to do in Stockholm, Sweden, and we spent three weeks over Christmas and New Year's enjoying the shortest days of our lives - if we slept in too late in the morning we would miss the sunset.

To be honest, I am reticent to recount the Stockholm trip. We got lucky that year, and turned it into a great family opportunity. The Sweden trip took a considerable slice of family investment, but we cut back elsewhere. Like all families, we have to decide where to spend any extra income. We err on the side of creating experiences together, and forego expensive electronics (we don't get TV reception or have a stereo in our home) and new autos (both our cars were born well before the turn of the century). Over the years we have learned that the most significant memories are borne from participatory activities, not the destination.

When the children were young, Wendy and I selected our holiday spot. Now that the kids range from 8 to 15 years old, we have started bringing them into the decision. In early October, a call goes out to the family for proposals. The kids as well as the adults have to map out what our activities will be, and include an affordable budget. Everyone gets a vote on all viable (read: affordable) proposals.

We do buy each of the children one gift, usually related to the site we visit. The year we went to Enseñada, for example, most of the kids received a boogie board for surfing the waves. The kids use their own money to buy a gift for each other as well as for Wendy and I. Often they make creative gifts with their own hands. Our Christmas morning exchange is pretty quick and simple.

Note that we aren't overly righteous. It would be better for us to pass Christmas week with Habitat for Humanity building houses for the homeless, or volunteering in an AIDS hospice. I would be gratified if my kids do opt for such a sacrificial project in the future. But I am cautious not to push my kids too hard. It is countercultural enough to prioritize family time above material goods. One step at a time is a motto I often use to temper myself.

By and large, our kids embrace our family Christmas tradition. Periodically, one or more of them will question why they have to miss out on the gift bonanza that most of their friends reap in this time of year. I don't argue, but simply respond, "Our family has decided to adopt different values." On the other side of the coin, it was gratifying to hear my 13-year-old son say to me last week, "Grandma wants to buy me a gift for Christmas, Dad, and I don't know what to tell her. I don't need anything."

And isn't that the spirit that we sorely need to exercise throughout the year? The dominant culture constantly sends us the message that GE, Apple, Nordstrom, Electronic Arts, and other companies bring good things into life. But Jesus taught that God fills us with all good things, and sends us treasures that moth and rust cannot destroy. It's the kind of conversation that I like to have with my kids when we are away together during the final week of the year. We can retreat and express gratitude for the moments and places we take note of Emmanuel - God with us.

Whatever your family tradition, I wish a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all.

For the Person Who Has Everything...

How about not getting them anything?? I mean, they have EVERYTHING.
The materialism of our society bums me out on a regular basis, but 'tis the season when it really makes me want to swim in a vat of antidepressants dissolved in vodka. Xbox 360? Shut the hell up. I hate it when I read articles or see news reports about parents freaking out because Item X is sold out and OH MY GOD THE KIDS WILL JUST DIE IF THEY DON'T HAVE THE DORA TALKING KITCHEN. Get a grip, people. And while you're at it, tell your kids to get a grip, too.

This year, as in the past couple of years, we are not giving gifts to the adults in our lives (and we are asking that no one give us gifts, either). All of our holiday spending will be going to people who can't afford a holiday dinner, for example. We also asked relatives to not give Azalea and Desi gifts, either, but we realize that's a tough one for people. We suggested that if they wanted to give a gift, they should record themselves reading a story (or telling a story in the oral tradition) so that Azalea and Desi can have a lasting memory of Grandma or Yiayia or Aunt Elaine or whomever (and also give Mama and Daddy a break when we don't feel like reading bedtime stories. Just pop in the tape/CD... hehe). I'm not sure how well that will go over, but we figured it was worth a shot. I mean, do Azalea and Desi really need anything else by Fisher Price?? I don't think so.

Craig and I were talking the other day about how great it would be if people took all the money they spend on (usually) needless gifts for others who already have pretty much all they need, or took all those gifts, and sent them instead to a poor family in Zambia, for example. We were thinking that would be a good nonprofit/charity organization we could start up -- matching Americans with families all over the world in a type of "secret santa" thing (except it wouldn't really be an exchange...). We do this for "needy" families in our community every year, but there are so many people in the world who are way more needy than the neediest of the needy in Pasadena, Maryland. Something to ponder.

Let it Snow!

We finally got some white stuff that stuck to the ground. Meli, our new au pair from Costa Rica, was really into it. Here are some pics of Meli and Azalea playing outside and making "snowballs" after dinner.